god of toilet

by kana uemura


from the time I was in 3rd grade
i lived with my grandma, i dont know why.
my parent's house was next door but
i lived with my grandma

i helped out everyday
played board game too.
but i just couldn't like cleaning the toilet
and my grandma said this to me

"there's a really, really beautiful
goddess in the toilet
that's why if you clean the toilet everyday
you will become a beautiful lady, just like the goddess."

from that day on i began
to make the toilet shine bright.
to become a beautiful lady,
i polished it everyday

when we went out shopping
we had roasted duck together
when my grandma forgot to record a comedy show on tv
i cried and blamed her.

"there's a really, really beautiful
goddess in the toilet
that's why if you clean the toilet everyday
you will become a beautiful lady, just like the goddess"

when i grew up a bit
i couldn't get along with grandma
i did not get along with my family as well
i had no place i belonged.

even on days off, i did not return home
and hanged out with my boyfriend
the board game and the roasted duck
have disappeared from the two of us.

i wonder why, people hurt one another
and lose the things that are so precious
leaving behind my grandma who always stood by me
i left home all alone

after two years of moving to tokyo
my grandma was hospitalized
i went to see my grandma
who had lost a lot of weight and had become so thin

feigning, i entered the room with a "grandma, i'm home!"
just like i used to
but even though we spoke just a little bit
she sent me out with a "go home now"

the next morning grandma
quietly passed away.
it was just as if... as if
she was just waiting for me to come.
even though she raised me properly
even though i'm yet to repay her
even though i wasn't a good grandchild
she waited for me.

"there's a really, really beautiful
goddess in the toilet."
i wonder, if these words my grandma gave me
are making me into a beautiful lady.

"there's a really, really beautiful
goddess in the toilet
that's why if you clean the toilet everyday
you will become a beautiful lady, just like the goddess"

my dream was to one day become
a good natured wife
so even today, alone,
im making my toilet shine bright.


grandma
grandma
arigato
grandma
really really
arigato